A year ago I learnt that even if you have held your temper for two years, it doesn't count. Once you have lost it, the damage is done. I learnt that it is far better to deal with situations as they arise, calmly and rationally, than to bottle feelings that later explode, with ugly consequences.
I have learnt that humility is one of my failings. For anyone that knows me, that will be hard to believe, as I am not the most confident go-getter out there. But I have learnt that to be humble is to accept that I am not in ultimate control and although I can do my best, I am but human and as such, I need divine intervention. (On a daily basis!!)
I have realised that although being a single working mother can be tiring and overwhelming, the blessings far outweigh the energy put in. I now appreciate my daughters personality and am supremely grateful that for all the areas in my life in which I have failed, being a mother has not been one of them. (And in my new-found humility I must admit that this success is far more due to divine grace than my own efforts.) I am awed by my five-year old's sense of self, right and wrong and logic on a daily basis. All the late nights and messes are worth it. I love her to infinity and beyond and thank God for her every day.
I have realised that distance makes no difference when it comes to loved ones. Whether family is a two-hour plane ride, or a fourteen-hour plane ride away, they can still be close. I hope this will go some way to closing the physical distance between us, I know I have felt close to other contributors to this blog.
I have learnt that although money certainly makes life easier (a WHOLE lot), it is not the be-all and end-all of our existence. I understand now that I have not been a good steward of God's provision for me and am trying to improve.
I have realised that I should never judge people, especially not from other peoples' experience of them. People can surprise you, not always in a good way.
I have learnt that although I may not be the best for keeping in touch with those I love, I am a "friend in need". And although I am trying to do better on the communication front, I also realise that it is the kind person I am. And that it's okay to be the one people turn to for help and support.
I have learnt to ask for help. Back to the humility thing, I would never have survived the past five years or more without my family. They are my rock and I appreciate them putting up with my occasional (!) rant and rave.
I have also just realised that this is very therapeutic. Why haven't I done this before????
